I changed my mind.
I made a U turn.
I've been trying to avoid whatever God forbids me to do, and trying to obey whatever He is asking me to.
I made a life changing decision so I can get my life back on the right track.
But it seems that life is not like a tv series where you can change yourself in a flip of a hand then everything comes in your favor. A happy ending.
I know it is too soon to conclude and to judge. This is just a beginning. But I feel like, even when I am already in a right direction, everything doesn't so right.
Maybe it is sort of punishment for what I have become in the past.
Maybe being good isn't enough to redeem myself.
I don't know.
I shouldn't have said like this, right ? He said, "I am what you think of me I am".
I should keep thinking positively. But to be honest, it is not that easy to always be positive.
At the time like this, somehow I miss those friends who were always there for me to talk about my thoughts, for hours.
People never told me that starting your own family will result in losing almost all of your friends.
