City View from 23rd Floor

The perk of working at 23rd floor is you can see the sky and skyscrapers. I always fancy the sky view. Especially when it's going rain. The clouds are usually dramatic, city is foggy so that we can only see the building next to our office. But today the sky is so bright and clear. Apparently the city sometimes looks good.

Introvert has limit

Many articles out there elaborating introvert's characteristics. The basic trait is significant need of solitude time. Surprisingly, more people declare themselves as introvert. My ex-office mates who can't stop talking at the office proudly state their declaration as introverts. Those articles also say that a single individual carries a mix of introversion and extraversion. No one is totally introvert or extrovert.

But I rarely find an article that highlights the limitation of introvert. That, by having a mixed personality trait, one of the characteristic might be drained which trigger the other trait to come out. Some may forget that despite of their crave of solitude, an introvert might get bored with excessive me-time. That despite of their strong passion for piece, they are longing for a little chaos.

In my case, as I'm growing adult, my reluctance of small talks is getting higher. The ignorance level is no longer tolerable. I hate to get stuck in a lift with my colleague or randomly meet them at the rest room and no acceptable cause not to say "what's up". Small talks can be so aggravating and awkward, but on the other hand I'm craving for deep conversation.

Small talks may waste my time and energy, but deep conversation can enrich my mind. The thing is it's getting harder to find a conversation partner that doesn't cost your comfort to develop a conversation. You can't pick random friends and ask them to share conversations over a cup of coffee.

Sometimes, only listening to them is relieving. One day I asked one of my girls out for dinner and talk. It was her who talked all the time telling about her problem. I was satisfied already without spilling any single fact about me. Reminds me that I miss other things like discussion and arguments.

Favorite Scenery

It's not favorite place in Bali. But it's my favorite picture. Taken with my poor phone camera without any filter because the scenery is beautiful as it is. Always fancy the sky before sunset. The natural beauty that you can't deny.

Then which of your Lord's blessings would you deny ?

It's November

It's November already, I've been working for five months at the new (old) office and thank God I still enjoy it.

Last November I started the previous job, and November a year before last year, I started the management trainee program at another company.

Yes, I never get through the end of year.

It's the picture of my desk. I rarely hold my cell phone during working hours and when finally I get spare time, I don't know what to do so I just take a picture of my desk or my office. I don't really do selfie.

Raindrops

Menara Palma, 9th Floor.

It's like the day after a hurricane. So quite and deserted. It's hard to keep the spirit up when a party has been thrown to celebrate a farewell with a very exhausting project. For some people, it is an end. The rest of us have to accept that this is just a new beginning.

The weather really matched our mood. As if universe is siding with us to indulge our reluctance. It's gloomy all day long. The dark clouds invaded the town from the east side. The earth finally gave up to the raindrops that couldn't wait to touch the ground.

After nine hours of waiting and tough fight with the shiftlessness, it's finally time to rest my body in a place that I call home. I looked through the window, the raindrops that stick on the glass told me that I better stay at office for a while. It's pouring rain. I have to give up to the weather.

Take the money watch it burnt

Like the lyrics of One Republic's song, I've been losing sleep lately for thinking about the things that I could do. The different is I don't count the stars, I count the bills instead.

Yes, when the payday comes, apparently the happiness only stays for a day or two before I realize that there's the list of bills waiting to be paid. Recently, I plan to apply for a mortgage. The rent rate is getting higher year by year, I guess the only solution to set my parents' free from leasing bill is to take a mortgage. Yet, it's not a cheap solution, I should spare third of my income to pay the installment for 15 to 20 years.

Three days of contemplation, I finally come into the decision that I should apply for the mortgage now. I might have to cut my monthly income for 20 years which will feel like forever. But, my income will increase each year, while the installment will be same forever (Optimistically speaking). If I choose to keep renting a house, the leasing price will increase each year as my salary raise. So, actually I will still spend a big money in the future.

Guess, what I need now is a little bit patience to push my expense for the next two years. The last thing I need is to have a strict financial management.

*fingercrossed*

The Best Fighter Is Never Angry

I used to feel disadvantaged for not being able to release or express my emotion easily. People tend to call me 'emotionless' as they can't see a difference between my mood changing. The reason of being disadvantaged because I think that sometimes we need to release our anger. Sometimes we need an outburst to show people that we are not weak.

But then I learned something.

Anger is not a symbol of power. Well, it might be, if we can channel it in a proper and right way. But most people just let their anger till they lose themselves. Most of them do it because they feel insecure. They feel insecure because they are under pressure or they are afraid to be proven wrong when they are not.

What I see, letting your anger take control of yourself is a stupid thing. It clouds your judgement. Your logic stops working. And one for sure, it's a self humiliation to let yourself explodes in front of public. That's not a symbol of power. That's a symbol of immaturity and weakness.

Now i feel grateful for having a natural emotion stabilizer. For not being impulsive in reacting to anything sensitive. For having time to think before I finally decide to explode.


 “The best fighter is never angry.” 
― Lao Tzu

Liberation

This is a month of celebration. A celebration of me taking back my rights which has been detained this whole time. Never thought it would be that easy. Now I am free like a bird. Not like a bird actually. Until I realize that I had sold my soul to another devil when I took an oath for a new disposition.

It seems stupid going hundred miles to set myself free just to be captured again. It's not liberation, I just trade myself to another master.

But things are not always as it seems. It may turn out to be good. I hope.

And maybe, for the first time in life, I have to learn to stick on a commitment.

Because one day, I'm going have to take an oath that I should never revoke. Devote my life for a life time commitment.

So, it's just a warming up.

Three years is not that long.

Day of Remedy

Year by year, the meaning of Idul Fitri has been shifting. Idul Fitri itself never loses its meaning. It's just the way of how people value the day. The ambience. Or at least, that's what I personally feel.

There was a time when I was a teenager where people were so eager to send happy Idul Fitri greetings along with their apology. The signal barrier due to overload server became a challenge which made the process even more interesting.

Then people became more creative in sending the greetings. They wrote poetrical messages. The not-so-creative people could also participate just by forwarding the message that they got.

As time goes by, people learned that sending those messages manually to all contacts in your phone books is tiring. Thanks to the cellphone vendor who invented broadcast message feature. People could send the greetings to everyone in their phonebook in one hit. It doesn't matter the receiver will read it or reply it or not. The point is, you have sent the greetings to everyone. Your job is done.

After social media became a trend, it also became the major media for people expressing their greetings and apology. People post greeting card and add massive tags the post. People started to hate broadcasted message, and later they hate the massive tagging too. They think it is not a sincere thing.

This year, seems like people are getting sick of the tradition (or it's just me being forgotten by my collegues) and stop doing those stuff above. I got no SMS at all. Broadcasted messages were still there though, from strangers. Only two massive tags. A few personal greeting texts.

I myself, didn't send any of those types of greetings. I did send personal texts to some closest friends. So, I thought people think the same way too which makes this year Idul Fitri a little bit quiet.

"Selamat Pagi, Malam." After Movie

Honestly, I watched this movie just because I saw Adinia Wirasti on the casts. I didn't even know if Marissa Anita also starred the movie as Adinia Wirasti's partner which makes them a perfect match.

In story wise, it's not one of my favorite Indonesian movies. The movie has three main plots in the same time and place setting. Jakarta at night. Just like another movie with the same genre, "Selamat Pagi, Malam" is just another version of Jakarta Undercover which undressed Jakarta's urban life nowadays. A girl who seeks for her first sexual encounter, a chinese housewife who is obsessed with her husband's mistress, and ex-lovers who reminisce they togetherness. All of them end up in a cheap motel named Lone Star. 

Apart from the story itself, for me, the magnet of the movie itself is on the acting of two gorgeous girls who act as two lovers. Adinia Wirasti and Marissa Anita. As usual, Asti perfoms a legit acting as Gia who has just returned from New York and try reconnecting with her ex girlfriend Naomi (Marissa Anita). They both build a very strong chemistry and make a sweet couple with interesting dialogues. Their smooth interaction makes me forget that the movie almost gets me bored.    

Image from www.ghiboo,com

Even though the story is not that special, but these two lovely girls made it as one of my favorite movies at the end of the show.

Gia : Religion plays such a big role here ya ?

Naomi : That's why there's no place for us, here. 

I Want A Baby !

When I was having my dinner at one of my favorite junk food resto (Yes. I love junk food. It's cheap and sinfully delicious) there was a lovely family sitting near the balcony. They had a very lovely baby, who kept smiling and laughing every time his dad feed him,  the mother wore a head scarf. A happy young family.  I wonder if the dad took the wrong dip and feed his son with chili sauce, would the baby still laugh ?

Not far from my table there was a couple (at least, they look like one) who were also hypnotized by the view of that happy family. 

The guy, while keep staring at the baby, said "Babe, ... I want a baby."

His partner looked a little bit shocked and put down the chicken wings that they're eating.

"Oh, well ... that's ... a progress."

"But not from you ... " He stared at his partner deeply then threw his sight to the baby again.

"Ok. Is it me or the chicken wings suddenly feel too spicy ? You want a baby ? fine. Buy it somewhere, find it in ACE hardware or post an ads on Amazon. Someone might have a second hand baby or sell a DIY baby. Second, you want a baby ? It's obviously not from me. What do you think I am ? Arnold Schwarznegger ? It must be from some random women whom you sow your seed into. Or call Jolie to get you a baby from those poor countries. But it's obviously not from me ! and you don't need to emphasize it by saying 'BUT NOT FROM YOU'. That's ... ANNOYING! "

The guy was still looking at the baby. And yes, the baby was still laughing while his father fed him.